Get Out of My Country

Get out.  I am not talking to immigrants or gays, any certain political party or people with Confederate flags hung between the columns of their Antebellum homes.  I’m not talking to any particular race or religious group, nor ignorant college students, nor elderly cane-shakers.  I am talking to you: the person who is unable and unwilling to see the dream of the United States, and the immeasurable good that it has done, and continues to do.

If you, fellow American, plan to use this upcoming celebration, the 239th commemoration of the Declaration of Independence, to do nothing but cry and whine about what the United States of America owes you, or what it’s doing wrong, or how much you hate it, then get out.  No one is forcing you to stay.  Expatriate.  Secede.  Renounce your citizenship.  Put your money where your mouth is.  Do not hide behind the steel veil of the Internet; do not simply spew empty words of hatred and dislike — act!  I encourage  you to ride your steed of arrogance and bitterness off into a foreign sunset, never to return or again set eyes upon these hideous sights:

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The United States is not perfect.  But neither are you, American.  I’d venture to say that much of your hatred stems from sitting at home, reading biased news sources, doing little to improve your corner of this massive, sovereign land.  If you are so set in your distaste for your home country that you will do nothing to actively improve its condition, then at least see it.  Travel.  For God’s sake, travel — see what is being offered in our 3.8 million square miles.  If you’re confused about the size of our country, then please enjoy this approximate scale experiment.

American innovation gave you the car, the airplane, electricity, the cell phone, and contributed to the thing you’re using now, called the Internet.  We put people on the Moon.  We gave you blue jeans.  We gave you toilet paper.

Your bitterness does nothing but confirm that you are a bitter person, and that you are drowning in issues that politicians have told you to be angry about.  You, as a weak-minded person, are unable to control your emotions or critical thinking skills.  Therefore your spittle and rage will be thrown against a country and an idea solely because you’re angry, although you’re probably not terribly certain of why.  You must hurt other people who love their country, because you’ve been told to be angry about fake injustices and catastrophes that were created to get you into a voting booth.  Your political preferences have nothing to do with the birth of our country.  Nothing.  N-o-t-h-i-n-g.  If you insist that they do, and insist on continuing to belittle the United States because it’s an easy target (most inanimate objects are), then I say again: get out.  No one is forcing you to stay.  In fact, I’m asking that you leave.  You are welcome to hate the United States.  However if you do, you are not required to stay in such a miserable state, and I encourage you to better your situation by finding a new place to call “home.”  I will personally fund each and every one of your permanent relocations by purchasing and inflating an inner tube, handing you a box of granola bars, and pushing you out to sea with fond best wishes.

Before you use our celebration as a means to stoke your rage, consider these things.

This man who has saved people from jumping to their deaths through nothing but conversation and kindness for years.

These people who found compassion and understanding for each other through unimaginable pain.

These women who love their father unconditionally, regardless of his illness.

This school shooter who has survived, and accepted the help of others to better himself.

This man who kept Santa Clause alive in the beginning of the Cold War.

This man who is proud of his harrowing career.

This woman who loved those abandoned by their families.

These men who aren’t blinded by nationality.

This unconventional, loving family.

I know, I know.  You’re thinking, “This can’t be true!  America is full of bigots and haters and hypocrites and fools!  America is a country of terrible people!”  Those people do live here.  You’re one of them.  But there are choices in the United States.  You have the choice to be a kind person.  And to understand that others have different opinions than you, and that’s acceptable, no matter how much you think they’re wrong.  You have the choice to help others, and to listen, and to respect those traditions and values that are important to millions of people in this country, even if you don’t share them.  You have the choice to learn about this country and its history, and work to improve it in an intelligent, productive manner so that its beauty and design can break through the clouds again.

Or you can leave.